Kettle Black



Truth be told, I almost had to fight Sandra to publish this post. We’ve both been to The Kettle Black on separate occasions and with two completely different experiences. But you know me (well maybe you don’t, but please take my word for it), I’m a stubborn one and since I loved the place, I just had to share.


I’ve heard so many people talking about this place. It kept on popping up in discussions with friends. The only reason why I hadn’t been there earlier was simply the location. Just a little bit out of the way for me, even though I bike passed it on St Kilda Road on a daily basis. In a way it’s an odd place for a cafe, but maybe that’s just part of the ingenuity. Although the place is regularly packed and be prepped for a short wait or a squeeze in somewhere.


The interior of this place is amazing. From the light colours to the abundance of greenery to the golden concrete sink where they fill the water bottles – it’s got quite a gorgeous ambience. Fresh, modern and utterly inviting. I felt right at home, perched on a high chair around the communal white marble table.


The menu options are interesting and, to my opinion, mouth-watering. Sure, the place is a on the pricier side, but I found it motivated (yes Sandra, I know you disagree). It might not be my regular everyday joint, but surely a place I’d love to spend a couple of hours with a friend on a Saturday morning, gossiping and relaxing over a hot cuppa and something delicious.


By the way: hot drinks came fast and were delicious. Extra points for the chai arriving in a pot (keeping it warm longer) and in abundance! Yay.


That morning when I sat in the cafe I was a wee bit hung over. I can’t now seem to remember what I had done the night before, but I hope it was fun, because I was sure feeling the effects of it. On the recommendation from our waiter I ordered myself the hotcake. My friend, feeling much better than me, opted for a healthier option of porridge.


I think we might have hit the jackpot. The porridge (pictured above) didn’t just look stunning but tasted as much (I didn’t even bother, cause healthy was so utterly inconceivable to eat for me that day, but I trust her judgement) plus pretty as a picture.

And then my hotcake. Oh my. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hotcake that big. It was essentially a really large cake I had for breakfast. Yep, cake for breakfast. Who doesn’t like that? If you order it you’ll have to wait a bit to get it (around 15 minutes) but it’ll pass fast. And once you have that glorious cake in front of you, you won’t care anyway.


One note though: if you order the avo on toast, expect just that. It’s two slices of toast and half a avocado still in its shell. It is a pretty minimalist plate and with a cost of $13, it might leave you slightly hungry and very disappointed. Just be aware that an extra poached egg on the side comes at $4 extra.


Should you be in need of a sugar kick there’s plenty on offer as well. Our favourites (although I didn’t get one this time as the hotcake left no room in my stomach whatsoever) are the selection of doughnuts from Doughboys Doughnuts. If you haven’t tasted them you’re in for a treat!


The Kettle Black is a place I’d love to come back to on a regular basis. I hope to get the same amazing experience each time and am crossing my fingers that Sandra’s visit was just a fluke. Although next time I might share that hotcake with a friend…

The Kettle Black
50 Albert Rd, South Melbourne
(03) 9088 0721

Opening hours
Mon – Fri / 7am – 4pm
Sat – Sun / 8am – 4pm

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